We welcome you, we really do. Your energy, your creativity and your openmindedness feeds our vibe.

But last year, some of you rioted. Stop that right now. If you participate, you don’t get it. SXSW isn’t just another party. It’s about music: real, non-cover-band, music.

With even more people expected this year, help spread the word through your actions. Peace.

And on that note, if you move here here are some free tips from the unofficial welcoming committee, me:

1. Pace yourselves. If you want Austin to remain the city you love, slow down. Don’t stop thinking and creating, though, keep that going. Just stop the frenetic pursuit of coolness; only then will you be cool.

2. Learn to like Longhorn sports. I know, it’s not cool in hipster circles to care about sports. But in Austin, even our most intelligent, for the most part, are not afraid to admit we love our Horns. At least try it.

3. Dogs are not accessories. Thankfully, the chihauhua-in-purse trend seems to have died down.

4. Protest. You can’t be fully initiated as an Austinite until you’ve marched down Congress Avenue in protest of, or in support of something. Pick your cause, and show up. Above all, march peacefully.

5. Don’t try to find weird. Go to the park, to the shows, to the festivals. Even to H.E.B. Weirdness will find you.

6. Above all, be peaceful, unless you’re at a Longhorn game, then get very rowdy.

Willie Nelson united the hippies and the rednecks in the 70s, creating this hybrid we call an Austinite. Please respect the vibe, as most of you do. We want you here, so help a city out by being careful stewards of our way of life.

The cows of the famous Cow Parade are finally here.

Cow Parade is the largest and most recognized public art event in the world. The herd gathered inside Palmer Auditorium Wednesday, July 27th, for public view. Later, they were released to graze various spots in the city for the weekend.

This local favorite has the Capitol painted on her snout, but check out the ears. Little tiny bats.

There are bats in her ears!

For details on where the cows are, visit Cow Parade Austin.

Does this dillo have leprosy?

Around these parts, we’ve bonded with armadillos since Jerry Jeff Walker penned the London Homesick Blues. But did you know that all humans share something with these armored creatures? It’s true, we are the only two species known to get leprosy.

Now in Texas, we think only about 4% to 10% of armadillos have leprosy. But in Louisiana, up to 53% may have it.

People who have gotten leprosy from armadillos probably did so because they ate undercooked armadillo meat. Given that dillos are too  sacred to eat in Texas, we suspect those folks are from Louisiana.

The moral of the story is to treat dillos with respect. Don’t touch them, and definitely don’t eat them. If one shows signs of infection, avoid contact. How do you tell an armadillo is infected with leprosy? I have no idea — they already have a face only a mother could love. Best bet, just leave them alone. 

A Letter from Austin

We welcome you, we really do. Your energy, your creativity and  your openmindedness can feed our vibe.

But the riotous events of SXSW 2011 worry me. I have no proof that those who tore down fences at Auditorium Shores and fought at music venues were out-of-towners, but I can’t imagine that natives or long-time transplants could have disrespected the Austin vibe that hideously.

I provide the following gentle guidance to help get us back on track.

1. Pace yourselves. If you want Austin to remain the city that made you move here, slow down. Don’t stop your thinking, keep that going. Austin was built on education, government, high tech and creativity, so we need your brains to keep us in all those top five lists we make.

2. Learn to like Longhorn sports. I know, it’s not cool in hipster circles to care about sports. In Austin, even our most intelligent people, for the most part, are not afraid to admit we love our Horns. At least try it.

3. Dogs are not accessories. Thankfully, the chihauhua-in-purse trend seems to have died down.

4. Protest. You can’t be fully initiated as an Austinite until you’ve marched down Congress Avenue in protest of, or in support of something. Pick your cause, and show up.

5. Don’t try to find weird. Just calm down, go to the park, to the shows, to the festivals. Weirdness will find you.

6. Above all, be peaceful, unless you’re at a Longhorn game, then get very rowdy.

Willie Nelson united the hippies and the rednecks in the 70s, creating this hybrid we call an Austinite. Please respect the vibe, as most of you do. We want you here, so help a city out by being careful stewards of our way of life.